On Having Been Ghosted By Spooks

Not much to say about this. Jefferson was called up to meet "Dave" at this public park location. At the time the meeting took place the picnic table was where the photograph was taken. That was where we sat when Dave in a rather seductive manner showed me his concealed FBI gun and holster. In the background adjacent to the shelter was the interracial couple who were making out. While they were going at it in ways that seemed to me contrived and not natural - which suggests they were a part of the same team as Dave for this meeting. And the couple happened to depart just prior to Dave closing the meeting down. That probably explains why this was one of the few times I met Dave solo. I feigned ambivalence to the gun show only because it was a bit more than vaguely sexual and it was basically attached to him. Had it been set on the picnic table it would have seemed less invasive of me to consider it. So here is the scene we met at back then as it is today. When I add up this post all I get is a big question -The confounding question of this blogette which is why. What was the price tag of this meet up. Why was I groomed and what for and why was I discarded. There are other such locations and I still go to those and remember the visits. Visits that never strayed far from a parkinglot. I am desperately seeking and searching for answers that I cannot possibly find on my own beyond these posts. What further aggravates me is if this were the DC Metro area I was living I am sure there are enough people connected to such people that I'd happen upon conversations or connections with other people who could speculate or just comprehend the splinter in my mind that has been left from all this. But as this is old Ohio I am just on my own with a bittersweet memory of something at once frightening and threatening to something that has become almost romanticized in my mind in the passing years since. I would have done anything for these guys and to be shelved as I was will be a life long regret and a burden of mystery. I rather wish they would have helped set me up in another state in a different climate far from here in some lonesome mobile home park. Than to be left in the wake of their activity and abandoned.